HEY Mr TAMBOURINE MAN!!
A Noisy football fan has been ordered to swap his drum for a tambourine after complaints from people living next to a football ground. David Ainslie, 51,was told his team, Lowestoft Town, could be prosecuted unless he stopped making such a racket. The food factory worker, nicknamed Dave the Drummer, (How do they think these up?) has now reached a compromise with the club. He will bang his drum at the end of the ground farthest from nearby homes and stick to shaking his tambourine at the other end.
BLESS ME FATHER!!
A Vicar’s son was facing a jail sentence after he admitted hurling paving slabs at police during a football riot. Andrew Payne, 21,ripped up rubble and hurled it at police officers outside Millwall’s ground. Payne, who runs a youth club at his father’s church, was caught on CCTV.
END OF M/cr STORM.
Ice hockey matches took place from the late 19th century until 1948 in Manchester Ice Palace in Derby Street, Cheetham, on 14,000 square feet of ice. In February 1998 the M/cr Arena drew the largest crowd ever to attend an indoor team sports event in Britain, when 16,000 people watched a Manchester Storm match.
BEER WE GO, BEER WE GO!!
A Bankrupt football team is to down more than 15,500 pints of beer to pay off its debts….to the brewery. Willington AFC, of County Durham, owes £3,800 to Interbrew and was facing closure unless the money was repaid. But under a new deal, the brewery has agreed to write off the debt if the 96 year-old club sells more ale in its bar. The football team will have £70 wiped off the total it owes every time it sells a 36-gallon keg- or 288 pints-to thirsty players and fans!!
JUST LIKE THAT!!
Soccer players of Woodland Heath FC, Fordingbidge, Hants, Listen to tapes of Tommy Cooper before games and haven’t lost since last November.
WHAT A WINKER!!
James Cullingham, 27, flicked tiddlywinks for a mile in a record of 52 minutes at Stradbroke, Suffolk. They certainly know how to enjoy themselves in Suffolk don’t they??
FISHY TALE
A group of 23 fisherman posed nude for a calendar with only their catch hiding their ‘tackle’ in Newlyn, Cornwall. Apparently, one of them only had a tiddler!!.
FISHY TALE 2
Angler Jerry Tibbs, 51, was killed instantly when a leaping whale landed on his boat as he fished off Port San Luis, California.
VODAMOAN!!
Football trainer Dave Nichols, 49, was red carded by a referee for answering his mobile phone as he treated an injured player on the pitch in Sevenoaks, Kent.!!
KEEP IT UP!!
Brazilian soccer legend Pele has landed himself a deal advertising Viagra on Brazilian TV. Who would have thought that Pele would have problems playing keepy-upy.!!
YOU BET!!
A man who had his wallet stolen in Cheltenham, Gloucs, is £290 better off after the thief placed a bet with his credit card. Winnings are paid to the account not the person.